When I was still a child, around 9 years old, one day I told my mother: “I will never marry.” My mother said nothing.

During the last years at high school, since my school was considered a “high society” school for girls, the principal of the school would organize dances and invite the boys of another “high society” school to come and meet us girls. Socialization. At the first of those occasions I met Patricio, (nicknamed Pato “Duck”) and we became good friends. We would go together to the “malones” (parties), but we were not “pololos” (dating). If we were at a dance and Pato would like to dance with one of the other girls, he would ask me to introduce him. If I wanted to dance with other boys, he would introduce me.

Before one of those proms (we had many) my father and I were changing the springs on my car, when Pato came early to pick me up. He gave his tuxedo jacket to my mother, put on an old shirt of my father and got under the car with me. Once the car was fixed, Pato waited for me to take a shower, get dressed and we departed in my little Fiat for the party.

Later, when I started going to the University, where my professors filled our ears with socialist ideas, I again said to my mother: “I will never get married.” This time she said: “And why not?” I answered back: “Because I would have to have thousands of children to make them an army, train them, and be able to change the world with them.”

One of my classmates at the University, Hernan, became my first boyfriend. He was quiet but quite enthusiastic about our relationship going further. Evidently, I was not his only conquest, because he had to get married very fast with the daughter of one of his neighbors that became pregnant.

By that time, I had finished my studies, and I was working at a radio station. I was offered a scholarship to go to study at the United States, so I started taking classes in American English at the Instituto Chileno Norteamericano. I had taken classes at the Instituto Chileno Británico (British) de Cultura before, but I really needed a different pronunciation (that I still struggle with). There I met Jurgen, blond, a real looker, from the South of Chile. He was preparing for a job in Germany. The job required for him to speak North American English. He was a real gentleman, and a good friend. We studied together. We both passed our exams. He left for Germany, and I never heard from him again.

Then I met Javier, a student from Bolivia at the Engineering School in Chile. He had great humor. He returned to Bolivia to work in silver mines at the city of Potosí.

During the wedding of a friend I met a relative of the Italian family of the groom. Tall and big, his name was Filipo. He liked to eat lots of pasta and bet at the horse races. He had a huge Chevy Nova car. His friends laughed at him when he bought it because in Spanish “No va” means “it doesn’t go”. But he did go and later married a wealthy Italian girl.

In one of my trips to Valparaiso I was with a friend from my Public Relations Office at the University when we were approached by two professors working at one of the Universities there. They offered to take our pictures. We continued talking and my friend established a relationship with Rodrigo and I a relationship with Javier. Both often came to visit us at the capital, only about one hour and 20 minutes by car from Valparaiso. Javier was a Literature professor, and he loved to write poems. He was married but separated from his wife. Then I left for the United States.

When I arrived at the University in Georgia I met Dost, a boy from Pakistan. He was studying Agricultural Engineering. He was also trying to perfect his English at the International Student’s English course. He was very handsome, had a car, lived in a townhouse near the University and had a delightful Urdu accent. He also was a good cook, and he prepared exquisite Pakistani dishes that I still remember well.

In one of his trips (he traveled often because of family matters, he said) to Pakistan, Dost brought back a gift for me. A two-piece outfit consisting of loose-fitting trousers (shalwar) and a long tunic (kameez) together with a dupatta which is a large shawl, and a short top which showed my stomach when I put it on. The shalwar kameez was very elegant, adorned with intricate embroidery in a vibrant array of colors. There were two problems with this gift. One all these garments were… blueish pink, the one color that I really do not like. Of course, I could not tell him that, so I pretended I liked it very much. The second problem was that with this gift Dost was also offering to marry me, and return to Pakistan with him. He was the older brother in the family with five siblings waiting for him to take over their land. He talked about elephants and cattle and showed me pictures of beautiful houses that look more than palaces to me. My first reaction was: “Dost, we are from so different cultures that this will not work.”  Smiling from ear to ear he said: “Do not rush for an answer I still have to finish my studies, and we will see.”

I knew it was impossible for me to say yes. My plans were to go back to Chile with a master’s degree and continue working there, live with my parents and advance my carrier in Public Relations.

One day when Dost was talking to another student from Pakistan, I realized that he was going so often to Pakistan because his family was influential in West Pakistan, and the tension between India and East Pakistan was a major political concern. I learned that the geographical distance separating West and East Pakistan was 1,600 kilometers (1,000 miles) of Indian territory. Disputes between India and East Pakistan surged since the separation of Pakistan from India in 1947. Fighting continued until 1949 when the United Nations forced a cease-fire, but the conflict did not stop, and the dispute flared up with a notable episode in 1965. Dost had come to the University of Georgia during an exceedingly challenging time for Pakistan. His father wanted him come home because he was the oldest son. He had to remain informed and involved in the new politics of the country. The government of the country was in West Pakistan where Dost family lived, but they had some investments in East Pakistan, he said.

When I graduated from the School of Journalism, Dost was on one of his trips. After I returned to Chile, I continued communicating with him until 1971. He got involved in the Indo-Pakistani war of 1971. East Pakistan seceded from Pakistan and became Bangladesh. I suspected that since Dost participated in some military operations he could have been arrested or killed.

Back in Chile I found myself deeply involved in my new position as Director of Public Relations at one of the University of Chile branches in the South of Chile. The political situation was unstable and my romantic adventures were brief, and overly cautious because of the visibility of my position. I had secret encounters with “el huaso Ramon”, a Casanova style student, in my escapes to a nearby river, but that was all.

When I moved to the North of Chile to another University as a professor of Public Relations and Information Courses, I met another professor, of Chinese descendant, that invited me to dance and have fun at the horse races. Also, a very well-known poet in that area sequestered me sometimes in his role as a leader of a local “Pirate Club”. Those parties were wild!

After the military coup, in 1973, I escaped back to the capital. I took a simple job as secretary of a company that imported Buses from Brazil. I had the opportunity to see my first boyfriend again but nothing could happen between us. He had two children, and despite not being happy with his wife, he loved the kids.

There were a few months at this job waiting for a notification that I had been accepted at the University of Texas to continue my studies. In Texas I stayed with my uncle for some time and then I rented my own apartment. 

One day, out of the blue, I was contacted by Don, an American who had been to Chile, knew some of my friends, and wanted to meet me. He came from Oklahoma to see me and we stayed at the house of my cousin at Lake Travis. He was thinking about getting divorced. When he went back home he wrote me a letter thanking me for fixing his marriage.

Then I went out with Juan, a visiting professor from Peru, while he was in Austin.

After that I had a serious affair with Christian, from Nigeria. An Igbo speaker. He told me how his father had eleven wives, but his mother was the favorite. His father and his sons lived in a central house while the wives and the daughters lived in their own houses forming a circle around the father’s house. Another smaller house was the kitchen and dining area where the wives took turns to cook and prepare the meals for all of them. When he went back home, he bought four weight scales. He said that he will give them to his brothers and nephews so they could start a business going to the market and allowing people to find out their weight in exchange for few coins.

On a bachelors party at the University of Texas I met Gary. He had been in Vietnam and recently divorced. He was getting a license as a realtor. I don’t remember why but he had to go to Paris for some days. He learned that I had a cousin that lived nearby and told me that he would pay her a visit. I was incredibly surprised when my cousin dropped me a letter saying that Gary had come to visit with his bags and asked her and her husband to stay with them. I was very disappointed about his behavior.

I also had a flirtation with an ex husband of my other cousin but nothing serious at all.

Then, my uncle, who had an auto repair business, employed a man from Chile who had come as a refugee. He had escaped from Chile to Argentina during the military coup, and then asked for asylum in the United States through a Baptist Church, he said. Pedro was good looking, reserved but smart. We started going out together. When I obtained my degree and moved to Dallas he decided to follow me.

We lived together for a while until I met Jesus.

My world went upside down. I was a sinner, and I was living in sin. The friend that helped me to know the Lord convinced me that it was best for us to get married. So, we did. (Cynically, and not yet understanding the meaning of being a Christian, I thought: “That’s one of few things that I have not tried yet!”)

In less than a year after our wedding, I received a call form Pedro’s mother from Chile. She asked me if I was aware that his son had a wife in Chile and one in Argentina. After numerous counseling sessions with a Pastor, we decided to get the divorce.

Two years later, at a Computer Conference, I met a Colonel in the Marine Corps who wanted to “know me better” but I was not prepared for that.

I decided to dedicate my life to God. God gave me a job training translators, who were translating the Bible into different languages, on how to use the special computer programs.

No more boyfriends or husbands. Just Jesus, my real and only love!