In Chile we use the expression “When the potatoes burn” meaning when the pressure is on or when the moment of decision comes. I knew that I was at that point when I finished my PhD.

After the military coup in Chile, I became so angry that I dedicated my life to improving myself according to what my parents and, in fact, the world considers improving. That is, to obtain more education, a good job, property. I decided I did not believe or trust in anybody anymore.

My “friends”, my colleagues at the university, many members of my family, even my parents, did not understand how betrayed I felt by what was happening in Chile. My country could not be like that!

When Kennedy was killed in 1963, I was a journalist, and I thought “nothing like that could happen here in Chile”.

But the military coup happened just twenty years after.

And after ten more years, I was transformed.

I know that God let me achieve all what the world considers important so I could finally realize that all that was nothing compared to having Jesus in my life.

While reading the book, “The Great be Divorce” by C. S. Lewis, I also started reading the Bible. In C. S. Lewis’ book one of the characters says that by surrendering our earthly desires we can become more beautiful, more powerful, and more loving than we ever thought possible.(Lewis 1945)

So, one night in 1982, reading Psalm 139:23-24, these verses really penetrated my heart, “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (“Bible Gateway Passage: Psalm 139:23-24 NLT 2019)

My habit every morning was to wake up and light a cigarette before heading to the restroom, but the next day after I had this experience with Psalm 139, I felt no desire to smoke anymore, and I have never smoked since.

By visiting many churches of different denominations, doing Precept Bible study, attending many conferences, reading and listening to many preachers I, little by little, started changing.

In one way or another C.S. Lewis, Calvin Miller, Madelaine L’Engle, Brother Lawrence, Kay Arthur, Joyce Meyer, Kenneth Copeland, Kenneth Hagin, E. W. Kenyon, Billy Brimm, and many others have made a difference in the way I have grown.

Painfully, slowly, I have learned not to read but to search the Word of God, to use it as a manual, as instructions on how to live and behave toward others. I still have a long way to go. But, as Joyce Meyer says, “I’m not where I need to be, but thank God I’m not where I used to be.”